Two kinds of People

Headaches...

I have them...

There are two kinds of people in the world:
Those who get headaches...(group 1)
And those who don't. (group 2)

Now if you get a headache once in awhile...
You're not in the first group.
You pretty much don't count.

We're talkin' headaches every day.
Not necessarily super bad ones...
But headaches nonetheless.

If you are in the second group
you can't possibly know the thought processes
that go along with being in the first group.

We are in general a superstitious people.

For instance...

If your headache goes away
and someone asks you
if your headache is gone...
you never say yes.
After all, that's being presumptuous...
and it will certainly COME BACK!
You can say, "Not sure yet".
You're safe there.
My  husband is like,
"What do you mean not sure?"
Either its gone or its not!
Yes, he is in Group 2.

Also, if it does go away...
you can't do anything you were doing before you got it.
Cause it will COME BACK...

And you have to be very careful how you move...
If you don't move just right...
it'll COME BACK.

One time our preacher asked,
"You ever know someone who says,
'Have I had my headache today?' "
I'm like, "Yeah, I think that all the time."
Good thing I didn't say it outloud.
Cause then he went on to talk about how B...A...D those people are.
(It's OK, Pastor Andres, I've gotten over the emotional issues
that went along with that sermon.

And just so you know, you're in Group 2 also...
...Just sayin'...

Dumb Phone

I have a Smart Phone...

But actually, it's a dumb phone.

It tries to guess at what I'm gonna text
with only the first few letters of every word.
I know everyone's phone probably does this.
But mine is the worst.

On my birthday everyone was sending me
birthday wishes on Facebook.
Of course, I was traveling at the time...
so I was enjoying them on my phone.

Everyone that wished me Happy Birthday...
received an insult for their trouble.
One young girl, Erica, was referred to as
'stomach'.
How does Erica EVER come out Stomach?
Seriously, that's all it could think of?

Dumb phone!

I was asking a friend
if Pastor was going to start videoing his sermons?
It actually asked her if Pastor was going
to start cuddling his sermons.
Very embarrasing...

Stupid phone!

Sunny said, "You know, you could proofread them first..."

"Whaaa..."
 

What's the sense of having a smartphone then!!!