Jan 23, 2013

Panic Attack

You know how
in the movies,
when something goes horribly wrong
there's always one person
who panics...
and has to be slapped
to return to their senses?

That's me...

I hate to admit it,
but it's true.

I'm completely calm
and can make rational decisions
...when it has to do with other people.

But...if it has to do with my kids,
or my husband,
or ME...
I totally and completely
lose it!

One time Adam hit his chin on the
edge of my Mom's pool.
After the screaming was done,
(not mine...his)
I looked at his chin...
saw bone...
and an ENORMOUS
amount of blood!
I immediately felt faint
and began to hyperventilate.
I would have started screaming
and running around the room
wringing my hands...
IF my 13 year old sister
hadn't said,
"Calm down...if he sees you freak out,
he will too!"
13 years old...
It's shameful to be reprimanded
by a 13 year old.
Especially if you used to change her diapers
and tell her not to pick her nose.

One time Russell and the boys
were out in the cul-de-sac
playing street hockey.
Russell accidentally (and I use the term loosely)
ran into Alex and knocked him down.
When I looked out the kitchen window,
Alex was on the ground,
flailing his arms and legs,
and gasping for air
looking very much
like he was dying.
I ran out there
with the intention
of ripping his head off
(Russell's, not Alex's)

But Russell is always the voice of reason
and only he can calm me down
and make me look at things rationally.

When my back goes out,
I panic...
I'm sure I'll be a cripple forever.
Life as I know it...is over.

Dr. Hoover has to calm me down...
Remind me that this has happened before...
and we'll get thru it.

This week, in Seattle,
my back went out.
Russell was 7 hours away...
so naturally I began to panic.
After all, I'll probably be a cripple forever.

So, I did the only sensible thing...
I hobbled into the other room
and called Russell.
After I was over my Panic Attack
He was able to coach me thru it.
And I got better...

So, if you see me panic...
Don't slap me...
(I will stop panicking for one second while I slug you)
Call Russell...my Panic Pill.

And Russell...you are not allowed to die before me...
...ever...
just sayin'...





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