Jun 29, 2011

How Did I Forget How to Fly

I read something beautiful today.
From the site www.aholyexperience.com

"I used to fly; I remember this.
How to unfold winged hope
and enfold the wind
in free falling trust."

"I remember thinking the sky
all empty space.
This can make a sparrow brave."

"I remember thinking that the wind
 and faith were enough.
How did I forget?"

"How is it possible-
that fear can make you forget
how to fly?"

"How do you remember joy
when some life sliver
pierces through your wild pulse?"

"How does a small sparrow in a wide world
extend the brief span of her wings
and let go...
to climb higher."

Wished I would have written that.
I love it...
It speaks to me today.

Sometimes in the midst of earthly troubles
I forget the joy I once knew...
I focus on the circumstances of life...
Instead of the wonder of God.

She goes on to say,
that the world's not meant to be a mirror,
where I focus on myself.

Instead it's a clear pane of glass,
that we look through
to see God high and lifted up.


How did I forget how to fly?

$5 Glue

So I bought this broom
at a store that will remain nameless
because someone I know and love
works there, and I don't want to dis his employers.

They had 2 brooms that looked identical.
One was $5 and one was $10.
I checked them out thoroughly,
because I'm such a thorough shopper,
and found that they were the same.

So naturally, being the thrifty housewife that I am,
I bought the $5 one...Duh...

I now know the difference between the two:
I can sweep exactly three times
before the head begins to swirl around
worse than the little girl on the exorcist.
(Sorry, flashback to before I got saved!)

Apparently, someone at the factory had a great idea:
"Hey, know what we should do?
Let's sell two of these exactly alike.
One with glue and one without.
And the cheapskates that don't want to spend $10
for a broom will buy the $5 one
and wish they would have got the $10 one!"

Yep, that's me, the thrifty housewife cheapskate.

Wish I would've bought the $10 one!

Jun 26, 2011

Kids

Me: (While telling the story of Jonah) How do you think you
would feel if you were in the belly of a whale all by yourself?

Katelyn: I would be lonely and miss my Mommy!

Camden: Me too. I wouldn't like it!

Me: I think I would be scared and cry!

Candace: (Looking straight into my eyes, while touching my face)
I wouldn't be afraid if I was with you, Mrs. Hoover.

melt...melt...

That's what I like about kids.
Kids aren't afraid to say they love you.

And if they don't like you, they tell you.

They don't act like your best friend
and then talk about you to everyone who will listen.

They're brutally honest...to a fault...

But, I'd rather be honest to a fault...
than be a hypocrite...to a fault.

Jun 20, 2011

Dad

Once there was a lady and a little girl.
All alone.
They had each other and it was good.
But someone was missing.

The little girl spent much time in the hospital.
With the lady by her side.
And it was ok cause life is good, regardless the circumstances.
But someone was missing.

Then one day the lady met a man.
Who came into their lives...
and changed everything.
Everything which had been good...
now was better.
And no one was missing.

The little girl learned how to fish.
She learned how to eat different kinds of foods.
She learned corny jokes which were stolen from Laurel and Hardy.
She learned what it was like to have a Father
who loved her even when she was bad.

So one day when she was told about the Heavenly Father
she had a point of reference.
She understood the love of a Father...
because she had experienced it in her life.

Thanks, Dad, for being a good example of love!

I love you. Thanks for saving our lives!

The G/C Gene

How is it that boys just naturally know about...

1. cars

2. guns

I don't ever remember my husband
sitting down with them and teaching them these things.
I remember sitting them down and teaching them spelling
for hours on end...
and they still can't do that!

When did they learn these things.
I've been with them every hour of their life...
(Well, except when they went to men and boys campout with their Dad)
Maybe that's what they do at those campouts.
They have intense workshops on guns and cars.
OK...that's a scary thought.

Maybe they call each other on the phone, secretly
and share gun facts...discuss car modifications.
(I've heard them use this word in car conversations, so I know it's OK).

It's like it comes with the package.
A boy has an inborn knowledge of these things.

I noticed this last night.
We were watching a western with the guys and JJ.
These bad cowboys tried to kill a good cowboy.
Couldn't see their guns...
Yet, every guy in the room knew what they were using
based on the way it sounded.

How is this possible?
Am I missing something?
Apparently I'm missing a g/c gene
that boys are born with.

God knew they would need this knowledge
In order to protect...
and...uh...well...drive fast?
Not really sure how that fits in.

I guess I'll just have to rest in the fact...
that guys are born with these inate abilities...
for some reason or another...

which escapes me completely!

Jun 19, 2011

Beware of Cat

We have a serious relationship problem in our house!

Our middle son, Alex, and his new bride, Lizzie
have moved here from Pensacola.
By here, I don't really mean Heron...
No one moves to Heron if you actually plan to work for a living.
Disability...yes
Retired...yes
Independently wealthy...yes
(we fall in this category, or course)
But you don't move here to work.

They are staying here for a couple of weeks
Until they can move in with my older Son and his wife.
The problem lies with the fact that they brought their kitties.
And on the way here, one of the kitties had kittens...
in the hotel room...on the bed.
(If you want to know which one so you don't accidentally stay there, let me know)

Our Queen Cat is Kirra.
She's the boss.
If she doesn't like you,
she'll make life miserable for you.

She doesn't like our daughter-in-laws
cause they took her boys away.
She will sit outside their door and hiss at them
if they try to walk past her.

She doesn't like our new kitty, Percy
cause he had the audacity to come into this house
and expect love.
(And food, of course...that might be the root of the problem, actually.)

Now, if you can be of some use to her -
Like giving her food...
a warm place to sit...
someone to sleep with at night...
well, then she will tolerate you.
But if you come in her house with nothing to offer her...
You're on the hit list!

And NOW...there are 6, count them 6, other cats in the house.
And also 2 guys and their 2 wives.
(And you know how she feels about them!)
Everyone walkin' around, talking, making noise, moving furniture around.
Generally living their lives...ignoring her!
And in her house, no less!

Poor Kirra. Life can indeed be hard sometimes!
I've explained to her that they won't be here long.
I've explained that she is very special and we love her best.
She doesn't care...she's out for blood.
If you come to our house...BEWARE OF CAT

Jun 17, 2011

Pet Peeve

You know what really gets me?

Whenever I go to change my sheets
I can never find pillowcases that match my sheets...
AND I can't find matching pillowcases at all

I quit asking about socks disappearing in the dryer.

And now THIS!

I am quite obviously linen challenged.
I can't fold fitted sheets...
I can't find matching pillowcases...
This is most assuredly the reason some people I KNOW
Don't use sheets!
You know who you are!!

They can't face the fact that they are also linen challenged!
Linen losers!

Jun 15, 2011

How to Walk With God

Wanna walk with God?
Here's how:

Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?
He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.
He that back biteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbor, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.
In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the Lord. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.
He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

Now you know!

Jun 14, 2011

Raising Boys

Raising little boys,
is a totally different experience
than raising little girls.

Not that I have any experience raising little girls.
I can only view them from over the 'boy' fence.
And believe me, it looks different!
They are playing...
The boys in my yard are not playing.
They are either trying to kill something,
trying to destroy something,
trying to kill each other,
throwing balls through the window to see what happens,
trying to kill each other,
tying their little brother up and cramming him in the dog house,
seeing who can come closest to hitting each other with their BB guns,
trying to kill each other...Oh, did I already say that?
I guess it's first thing I think of when I think of
little boys playing in the backyard.

I am exaggerating a little, of course...
I had the BB guns put away in a locked cupboard!
And they did one time tape their little brother up with duct tape.
I don't know what bothered me more...
The fact that they would do that...
Or the fact that he was enjoying it.
And where was I while this was going on??

You know the poem:

What are little boys made of?
Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails
That's what little boys are made of.
Very true...
And often, they have also sampled many of these delicacies!

Raising boys is not for the faint hearted!
Are you listening, Heather???
(This is for my daughter-in-law who probably thinks she's gonna have a girl, but will be sorely disappointed!)
Raising boys is an adventure!
It's amazing what they can think up when left on their own.
(Which I don't suggest, but happens occasionally when Mom is sick)

Adam decided to make fake blood, spread it all over himself, and start crying like he had been hurt.
He was hurt by the time all was said and done!

Or the time Alex got one of my nylons, put it over his head to scare the fire out of his little brother.
What he scared out of him was definitely not fire!
.
If I had the opportunity to go back and change things...
I wouldn't.
I feel special because I have had all boys.
I've become tougher.
When you have boys, you learn that certain things are not such a big deal.

Like when they give their little brother a worm to eat...
Or when they spread mentholatum all over the wall...
Or when they light a firecracker in a pat of butter on the back porch to see what will happen.

There are so many great things about boys.
When they come in from outside, muddy, torn clothes...
Smelling like they've been riding on the back of the wind...
(I love the smell of a little boy who has been playing outside)
Excited about the snake they found, or the fort they made.
Knowing that all these things, all these activities are making a man out of a boy.
After all, I fell in love with a man who was once a boy.

Jun 12, 2011

"Fair Blows the Wind"

I love Louis L'Amour books.

I am not a fan of western novels.

I love old westerns on TV.
When I was a kid my Grama and I
would watch westerns together.
It's one of those sweet memories I have of her.
The other would be watching bullfights from Mexico.
But I don't want PETA knocking down my door tomorrow morning...
So we won't discuss that one!

And I love reading...always have.
Emily Dickinson wrote:

There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away.
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!

The thought of sitting with a good book
is absolute bliss to me.

But not westerns.
Who wants to read about a bunch of guys
Not taking showers, not brushing their teeth,
Spittin' (you gotta say it like that in a western),
and killing people!
(Other than the killing people, it sounds like my house)

When my Pastor years ago told me that every boy
should read Louis L'Amour...I was shocked.
So I determined to read some of them
to make sure they were OK for the boys to read.
(Not that I didn't believe my Pastor...but...well...I didn't believe my Pastor)

The first one I read was 'Fair Blows the Wind' and I was hooked.
I couldn't read them fast enough.

I've learned many truths from them:
You never skyline yourself when running from an enemy.
Take off your cowboy boots and put on your moccasins when sneakin' around.
Coffee is only worth drinkin if it's blacker than the sins of the devil himself.

And there are such great lines in his books:
"Have faith in God, but keep your powder dry."
"When you go to a country, you must learn how to say two things:
  how to ask for food, and how to tell a woman you love her. Of these
  the second is most important, for if you tell a woman you love her,
  she will certainly feed you."
"The water does not flow, until the faucet is turned on."
"Victory is won, not in miles, but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground,
  and later, win a little more."
"The way I see it, every time a man gets up in the morning he starts his life over.
  Sure the bills are there to pay, and the job is there to do, but you don't have to
  stay in a pattern. You can always start over, saddle a fresh horse and take
  another trail."

I could go on and on.
Such great one liners.
All my guys love reading them.
We share quotes from them.

Mark Twain said:
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage
  over the man who can't read them."

I have acquired an entire collection of Louis L'Amour books.
And I'm absolutely thrilled!
I feel like I've been given a vast fortune!

Anything that can take me far away...
from the stresses of life,
and set me upon a horse
in the middle of a canyon,
where I can feel the wind in my hair,
and smell the smoke from a far off campfire...
IS a vast fortune...
...in my book...

Jun 7, 2011

The Toilet Trailer

I've been on vacation for 3 weeks:
One week for our middle son's wedding,
One week for getting the car fixed,
   (We won't discuss this)
And one week visiting Russell's Dad and his wife.

We saw a lot of things on the road.

But nothing compares to the joys of Montana.

For instance...

Two days after we got home
our local hardware store was having
their Customer Appreciation Day.

They have it every year...
It's always lots of fun!
Especially since good friends of ours own it.
And another good friend works there.
So we get to visit with them and with a lot of people
from town.

They have barbecued hot dogs, hamburgers,
chips, sodas...
as well as lots of great deals.
Drawings, raffles, etc.
Real down home 'America'.

This year everyone was discussing the
trailer outside.
Even the kids...
Aaron: "Have you been to the trailer yet?"
"Gotta check it out...pretty cool!"
Me: "What's in it?"
Aaron: "Gonna have to see for yourself!"

So I went to the trailer,
full of anticipation!
Maybe it's free food...
Or candy...
   (I love candy! Skittles are my favorite
     in case anyone wants to know.)
Maybe it's Interior Design ideas...
MAYBE RACHEL RAY IS IN THERE DOING A COOKING DEMONSTRATION?!
Now I'm really excited!

As I ascend up the stairs,
the first thing I lay my eyes on...
is a toilet.
As I ascend up a little higher...
I see another toilet...
and another...
and another...
and another.

Toilets! the entire trailer
is full of toilets!
Seriously?!
This is what everyone is talking about?!

WHERE'S THE SKITTLES FOR GOODNESS SAKES?
(And I'm thinkin' even if there were Skittles, I probably wouldn't
 wanna stick them in my mouth.)

So I turn right around,
and go in search of my husband.

His first word to me was...
"Have you been to the trailer yet?"
"Yes, it's full of toilets!!!"

"Let's go check it out!"
"Did you hear me? It's full of TOILETS!"
"Yeah, let's go check it out!"

I'm missin' something here.
I can't understand what everyone is so excited about.

So, I play the dutiful wife and go to the 'toilet trailer'
with my husband.

There are two guys in there
ready to tell you everything you ever wanted to know
about their toilets.
And I noticed there are also sinks in there.

That makes it a little better...I guess...

This toilet uses less water...
If you normally have high water bills
this would be the one for you.

This one has a padded and heated seat...
Kinda neat, I guess...Don't know how important
that is to me...but I guess if you plan on spending
a lot of time in there...
this would be the one for you.

This one has a new modern design!
OK, now we're getting somewhere.
It doesn't have the big bolts on the floor
that you have to clean around.
It has clean, smooth lines.
And when the lid is closed, it looks
like a spaceship.
Kinda like the Starship Enterprise.

Wonder if Captain Picard has one like this?
I'm havin' a good time now.

My husband:  "C'mon honey, we gotta go."
"Noooo, I haven't seen everything yet!!"

Oh. My. Goodness!
A sink that turns on with a touch!!!
When I've just been squishing up hamburger
for meatloaf...
I don't have to get the faucet handles all greasy!
When I come out from the garden
and my hands are all dirty...
I won't have to worry about getting everything muddy!
After I have helped Beverly Crusher with some very complicated surgery...
I can wash my hands with just a touch.
(Gotta know about 'The Next Generation' to get that one.)
I have to have that sink!

20 minutes later...
with pamphlets in hand,
we're walking out the door.

I see a friend of mine, just arriving.
"Hey, you been to the trailer yet?"
"No."
"Gotta check it out. Pretty cool!"
"What's in there?"
"Gonna have to see for yourself."

Yeah, we know how to have a great time in Montana.
Ought to join us!

Jun 1, 2011

His Vacation, Her Vacation

My idea of a vacation:
Driving through beautiful old towns
and reading their histories.


Taking pictures of the great old
buildings that make up the downtown.

Checking out all the antique stores...
Seeing if I can get something really neat for nothing!

Stopping at all the historical markers,
taking pictures...
imagining what it must have been like
100 years ago.


My husband's idea of a vacation:

Trying to get from one place
to another
as quickly as possible.

Preferably, spending as little
money as possible on gas,
food,
hotels,
(must be a hotel with breakfast so we don't
  have to spend any money on that)
knick knacks,
(well, he doesn't want to spend any money on this)
etc.

He could care less about history...

He could care less about culture...

He could care less about deals...

He could care less about old buildings.

What he does care about is:

Where the cheapest gas is,
what gas mileage he's getting,
how he can pay the least amount for meals
(Do you need lunch today?)
(We could wait for dinner and then share something.)
How he can get me to skip some of my
bathroom breaks.

But today,
He stopped at all the historical markers,
without my even having to ask.
He even drove OUT OF HIS WAY
so I could check out a historical state park.
We stayed there an entire 30 mins.
Yes, he took 30 mins out of our drive to take pics
of old schoolhouses and the Oregon trail.
He even stopped on the side of the highway
so I could take a picture of a rock mountain.
I could really get used to this!

So, tonight at dinner he nonchalantly mentions
that tomorrow we are gonna have a 13 hour trip.
So there won't be any historical stops,
or shopping trips,
or cultural discoveries,
or bathroom breaks,
or eating,
or drinking,
or breathing...


 Yeah, that's what I thought...