Apr 30, 2011

All I Want

When the boys were little
they would ask me...
"Mom, if you could have anything in the world...
what would it be?"
I would say, "For the Lord to come back."
Well, they caught onto that pretty quick.

So then they would qualify that with,
"Besides the Lord coming back..."
And all I could ever tell them was

I want my sons to love the Lord Jesus Christ
more than I have loved Him...
To give more of themselves than I have given...
To die to selves more than I have died.
To love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
To make up what I have left out.
That's all I want...all I care for...

Because He alone is worth living and dying for.

Apr 28, 2011

Let Me Die as the Leaves Die

Let me die
As the leaves die,
Gladly.

Clad in the golds and reds of triumph,
They make the mountains a miracle
And the valleys a fairyland of wonder.

Yet these leaves are dying.
They are about to flutter from the trees
Down to the waiting earth where in death
They will become soft mulch, brown mold,
And indistinguishable earth,
And then new leaves again.

So they die,
Refusing to remember with anguish
Other days long ago
When they were fresh little tendrils
Breaking from the buds in the lush warmth of spring,
Or the summer days when they were green luxuriant foliage
Swept by the threat of sudden storm.

Instead, they deck themselves in joy,
Because after the mulch and the mold and the earth
They will become new leaves again.
This must be the meaning of their reds and their golds.
They are happy as they die.

God, let me die
As the leaves die,
Gladly.

- D. C. Clausen

What is death to a Christian but a glorious sunset and the dawning of a more blessed day in summerland where eyes are never wet with the tears of separation!

Apr 27, 2011

John Deere - The Incident

Yesterday was a good day.
Hubby and I drove around getting errands done.
We usually go in all the stores together and
generally have a good time.

Except for Ben Franklin and the Dollar Store.
He will not got in those stores.
And I have a few stores I don't go in as well.
Car parts stores and the John Deere store.
Boooorrrriiiinnnggg!!!

So when we get to the John Deere store
He walks in to get a tune up kit for the church tractor.
I stay in the car.
Then I notice in the window...
A rack with really cute T-shirts on it.
Wow! Maybe this is my kinda store after all!
So I jump out of the car, to check out the cute T-shirts.

IMMEDIATELY upon entering I realize
I have made a terrible, terrible mistake!
Everyone...
(By everyone I mean a bunch of guys in flannel, baseball caps, and dirt),
Turned and stared at me.
As if to say, "What are you doing in here?...snort...spit! This is a guy store!"
I knew I had done something unforgivable!

I looked over at the shirts, 
They were calling my name.
So, I walked over there as if I knew exactly what I was doing.
As if I intentionally went in there to buck tradition!

The rack of shirts was kinda scrunched into a corner,
To make way for the beautiful new tractor tires, of course.
They all had JOHN DEERE printed all over them.
And they WERE cute...but I would feel like a hypocrite wearing them.
After all, I don't really EVER think about John Deere tractors.
I just want them to mow the lawn, plow the snow...
and get out of my sight the rest of the time!

After gazing at them for a respectable amount of time...
I wandered out.
Back to the safety of my car.
As the guys walked out...one by one...
They smirked at me from under their baseball caps!
"Good. That's where she needs to be!"
Well, they probably weren't saying that...
I was just feeling guilty from committing such a faux pas!
(You can look that up if you want...I had to!)

When Hubby came out
He had a completely different experience than I had!
You know, like how a person sitting in a reverse seat
in the back of a station wagon has an entirely different vacation
than the person sitting in the front seat?
How is this possible?!

Must be this 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' thing!
Hmmm...imagine that.

Apr 24, 2011

Bad Mommy!

Cobra, Shelby, Lotus, Elise















These are my girls.
Well, one guy and 5 girls.
He doesn't mind being called a girl.
I know cause I do it all the time...
He hasn't said anything yet!

Porsche and Mercedes















Yeah, I know, I name them after cars.
And actually, the 3 in the middle I can't really tell apart.
They look the same to me...

See! That's what I mean!
What kind of Mommy doesn't remember the name of her kids...
Or can't tell them apart!
(Come here, Adam, Alex, YOU in the blue shirt, get over here!)
Yeah, I might have done that before.

Sometimes, I forget to feed them in the morning!
I look at the clock and it's 11:00 and I haven't even thought once about them!
Then in deep contrition I run outside with crumbles and treats in hand...
and they look at me with scorn!












Do you see it? Look at those little chicken faces!
Scorn written all over them.

What kind of Mommy doesn't make sure her kids have 3 squares a day?
("Guys, I'm really pressed for time, have pie for breakfast. It's good for you!")

And the worst of all...I hate to admit it...
Sometimes, when I'm really tired,
I have forgotten to close their little chicken door.
Technically, it could also be called a skunk door,
considering how many times one has used it.

Then I rush out to close the door...
and there's Pepe LePew waddling around underneath them,
eating their little eggs, while they cower in fear above him!













See them cowering in fear?

I don't have a picture of Pepe. I've gotten too close to him already.
Apparently he doesn't like to have his picture taken.
Touchy that way.

And sometimes, we go away for a couple of days at a time...
AND LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!
OK, I haven't ever done that with my kids.
Although one time we left Aaron sleeping on the pew in church
one Sunday evening.
But we noticed it before we got down the highway too far.
So technically, you can't really even count that!

Yes, these chickens live a hard life.
You can tell by looking at them...
















BUT, It IS better than the stew pot!

And for that they are grateful and happy!












Can't ya tell? Look at those smiling faces!

So even if I am a bad chicken mommy...
At least I haven't resorted to chicken cannibalism!

Apr 17, 2011

Martha, martha...

Hae you ever had something that you wanted to conquer?
Something you wanted to master?

I have always wanted to be able to fold sheets.
No, not flat sheets...
the fitted ones!

I have watched Martha many, many times.
(Yes, Martha Stewart! I love her! If you don't
  keep it to yourself!!)
I followed the pictures perfectly...
and did exactly what the book told me to do...
hers
all to no avail.
My sheets look horrible!

When I first got married
I tried countless times to fold them right.
By right I mean, like Martha folds them!
Martha always does everything PERFECT!
(I hate you, Martha...er...I mean I love you Martha!)
I finally, in desperation, gave up!

I instead bought two small laundry baskets -
one for singles (the boy's beds)
and one for queen (ours).
I put them in the closet and
after I took the fitted sheets
out of the dryer I wadded them up...
and threw them in the appropriate basket!
(and closed the door, of course, I wouldn't
  want anyone to know I didn't fold my sheets)
I bet you're smirking right now!

I've done it that way for awhile now...
hers
Then the other day I was looking through
Martha's site...and what should I see...
a VIDEO of Martha folding a fitted sheet!
I acted like I didn't care...
I looked at everything else...
until I couldn't stand it any longer!!!
I went to the video...and there she was
folding a perfect sheet.
I was filled with guilt.

I ran downstairs,
grabbed the nearest sheet
and followed the instructions by the letter!
And still my sheet looked like little more
than a crumpled sheet.

mine
Maybe her sheets are different than mine.
Mine have elastic all the way around.
Maybe hers don't...
Maybe hers are square instead of round
and therefore lend themselves to being
folded easily.
Maybe its NOT that I'm a loser at sheetfolding!

Sadly, I have to face the facts:
I will NEVER be able to fold fitted sheets.
When it comes to linen, I'm a loser...sigh...
I still love you Martha...

Apr 13, 2011

My Sun

When you live in the Northwest,
Weather is a BIG deal!
 At least in the winter/spring time

I have 'The Weather Channel'
as my homepage.

I want to know at ALL times
what the weather is gonna be.

I want to know ahead of time
when the temp. reaches 60 degrees.

Then I cancel all my plans
so I can be at home with my sun!

I want to sit in the garden
and take pics of the dog, the kitten and the chickens
I want to sit in my chair that Alex bought me
and stretch my legs out like I'm getting a tan...
(even though my sun is really not close enough)
I want to feel its warmth on my face,
to soak up the vitamin D
(without having to take it in pill form)
I want to put my hair in a ponytail
(It's long enough now)
And give Strider a bath
(Actually I usually wind up wetter than him).

But Alas, this month's weather looks pretty much
the same...
One day of sun...10 days of rain/snow
One day of sun...10 days of sleet/rain
One day of sun...(you can pretty much put any kind of cold,
wet, mushy weather in here as you can think of!)

BUT, I know it's coming...
that first 60 degree day.
And when it does...
I'll be the first to know!
So if we have something planned
and I suddenly and without warning
cancel...
then you'll know.

Sorry, but I really gotta go.
Gotta check the weather!

Apr 10, 2011

Things I Miss

Actually the title should be...
Things I Miss Not Being at Church.
But I didn't think that would grab anyone's attention!
 And then you might not read it.

I hate that everyone is over there wearing Party Hats!
And here I sit...sick and alone.
   (Here's where you're supposed to feel sorry for me!)
But at least Doctor Hoover is gone for a couple of hours
And not pushing pills down my throat!

I better say I miss the preaching first
Or you all won't think I'm spiritual
I love preaching!
I love to hear what God has for me!
What treasure he is gonna give me today!
Often, when I'm going thru really hard times,
Sitting under preaching is the only place I find
Complete peace and joy.

I miss seeing all my friends.
I miss the Fellowship of believers...
Of telling each other all the things the Lord
has done in your life this week.

I miss the singing.
Everyone (including me) singing at the
top of their voices...
The praises of God...
Who, of course, is more than worthy!
It's like Heaven on earth!

When I look outside
   (We live next door to the church)
And I see all the kids playing on the lawn...
Then I think about all the kisses and hugs I'm missing.
All the ' I love you, Mrs. Hoovers' I'm missing.
   (No, not from Russell)

Today, I'm missing the Brownie/Cake Bar downstairs
after the morning service!
   (Can you use the word Bar when talking about church?)
Like I can't afford to miss those calories.
After all, I am going to Florida to the Beach
In a few weeks.
So then, maybe that's a good thing!!!

I miss the joy that settles down in my heart
when God gives me something...really special!
When He tells me He loves me with all His heart.
When He confirms in my heart that I'm His child.
When He gives me hope to carry on and serve
Him one more day...week...month...year.

Why would I not want to be there?

I met Jesus Christ IN CHURCH
Why would I not want to go back to
the scene of the crime, so to speak?

To quote Keith Green,
"Jesus Christ rose from the dead,
And you can't even get outta bed!"

Church is where I serve Him,
Oh, I know, we serve Him everyday
in our lives, and that's true.
But I am at church because He said
He wanted me there.
Yes, I get blessings being there,
But I'm there solely because He
told me to be!

When I was a little girl
My Mom and her best friend
wanted to go on a walk.
WITHOUT ME!
   (Yeah, I know, hard to believe)
So I pitched a fit...
   (Also hard to believe)
My Mom finally said,
"Lisa, what is your problem?
Do you think I'm gonna pull out
an ice cream cone when I get around the corner?"
It was that I wanted to have fun with them!
AND I wanted to be there when she pulled out
the ice cream cone!

When I miss church, I don't get to have fun with everyone!
AND I miss the ice cream cone!

But one day...
I'll get to Heaven
And I can say, "Lord I didn't
lead a perfect life...I tried...
and failed many times...
But I loved You,
I loved your Word, your preaching,
Your people...
Your church.

And then,

He'll pull out that ice cream cone...
And say, "Enter thou,
into the joy of thy Lord."

Apr 6, 2011

Doctor Hoover

I wonder about my husband.

I'm getting the flu...I think...
Sore throat...congestion...coughing.

So I stick it out as long as possible.
Trying not to take medicine until I'm dying.

All the while, he's looking at me accusingly.
Like it's all my fault I'm getting sick!
And constantly nagging at me to take drugs!

He's a Christian...A PASTOR...
should he be encouraging me to take drugs???

Everytime I have a headache...
"Better take 4 ibuprofen!"

When I go in and take medicine on my own, it's
"How many did you take?"
I don't want to lie..."some"...
"How Many?"
"2"
"Not gonna get rid of that headache that way!"
Don't say I didn't warn you!

I'm very concerned about this behavior.
We don't have life insurance,
So I don't have to worry about that.
  (He wouldn't want to do all the housework anyway,
    not to mention he'd starve to death!)

So now I think I'm getting the flu
and I'm just wondering how long I can keep it from him,
before he comes after me with an array of different drugs.

If you don't hear from me, you'll know...
I've died from Theraflu poisoning!

Apr 3, 2011

Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I learned from my Lab

I thought Sundays would be a good day to
write about something the Lord showed me
during the week.
Or maybe something exciting that happened
at church...
Something spiritual anyway.

We went on a walk today.
The sun was shining...













the birds were chirping.
You know, all the springy stuff.















So, of course, we had to take the dog.
Not taking him would be cruel and unusual punishment.
So with milk bones and toy in hand,
we took off.

He's a Chocolate Lab
  ( well, part Chocolate Lab and part ADD)
So, naturally all he wants to do
is retrieve his toy!
Over and over and over and over and
over again.
Or run circles around you
while you try NOT to trip over him.

We walk 2 miles, he probably walks 10.

He's happy, happy, happy!

God created him to retrieve...
That's his job.
That is what he was created to do.
And he absolutely LOVES it!
It's all he can think about.
It consumes him.

How wonderful that he loves to do
what he was created for.














  If we could only get there.

Another thing Strider loves...
being in our presence.
We don't have to be handing out doggie biscuits
   (Although he wouldn't be against that!)
He just wants to be where we are...
to be as close as he can...
   (Sitting on our laps if possible)
Being with us is enough for him.
It makes him incandescently happy!
   (Yeah, I stole that from Pride and Prejudice)

Am I happy just to be in Christ's presence
Whether or not he's handing out goodies?
Do I try to get as close to Him as possible?

Am I ecstatic
about doing what I was created to do?
Not grumbling and complaining,
Just doing what I was made for...
and LOVING it!

"...happy is that people, whose God is the Lord."
Ps. 144:15

Appliance Strike

Why is it that all your appliances stop working at the same time?

My stove (Bertha) has been threatening me for some time now.
Right front burner is no longer working...
The oven used to be 12 degrees hotter than it really was...
Now it's 25 degrees hotter...
The self clean doesn't work anymore...
   Actually it doesn't have one...(to me, that's definitely broken!)
   Who makes a stove with no self cleaning????
Light doesn't work...No, it's not the bulb...duh!
And it's ugly!
   Technically, that is not broken, but it IS another reason.
   (Makes my argument look better!)
Won't be able to cook, I guess!

My washing machine (Mathilda) is going too!
Can't use softener anymore cause the little cavity that
   holds it doesn't drain anymore.
Doesn't always agitate correctly.
Can't use large load anymore or it will regurgitate
   all over the floor!
It's doing something new now...
It doesn't drain all of the water from the pipes.
So, if you don't wash clothes for a couple of days,
   when you finally do, stinky water that has been
   sittin in the pipe is used to wash your clothes.
So you actually have to wash them twice.
   (Gives me something to do with ALL my spare time!)
And it's ugly...(see notes on stove)
Won't be able to wash clothes, I guess!

Our Microwave, (J. J.)
   Named after our own personal microwave repair guy...
   has joined the ranks of dissatisfied appliances on strike.
No light, NO, its not the bulb...duh...
It won't work unless you slam the door...
   Nice touch in the morning!
Every so often the display and/or the beep
   quits working...
   In which case, we call our microwave repair
   guy to come over, eat our food, and fix
   the microwave.
And it's ugly...(see notes on stove)
Won't even be able to microwave food, I guess!

AND NOW, my dear, sweet sewing machine, (Patsy)
   started smoking the other day!
Yes, actually smoking while making baby bibs.
I'm assuming this means something bad.
As far as I know, sewing machines aren't supposed to smoke.
It too, is ugly. Poor thing...
Won't be able to sew anymore, I guess...sigh...

But, the GOOD thing is...

My Computer IS working!
And for that I am HAPPY!

AND if you see my husband, (moneybags)
Let him know I need a new
stove,
washing machine,
microwave,
and sewing machine!
IF...
he wants to eat,
have clean clothes,
re-heat his coffee,
um...um...get rid of his wife for a couple of hours,

I don't want to nag you know...

Apr 1, 2011

Ants, Ants and More Ants

So, remember the ants?

Well, on the poison box it said to
squirt the poison wherever they are...
and they will eat it and take it back
to their little ant homes.

So, I am envisioning these little ants
licking up the delectable nectar...
Going back to their little ant homes...
Climbing into their little ant beds...
And gently dying,
(Providing you can die gently when you've been poisoned)

NOT SO

They eat the poison,
Go back to their homes,
And when they are just about to die...
They come back to the scene of the crime
And die all over the floor.

So when you walk into the kitchen in the morn
there are ants EVERYWHERE...
all in different stages of the dying process.

Some are already dead,
Some are moaning and dragging themselves around
   (you can't hear the moaning, thankfully)
Others are alive, just beginning to show symptoms.

I'm guessing they want you to know
what your dastardly deed has done to them!

The vacuum cleaner sits in between the kitchen 
and living room

Everytime you walk in you pick up the vacuum nozzle
And suck up all the ants...
It's part of going into the kitchen.
   (You wanna eat? You gotta kill ants first!)
     Possibly a good dieting strategy!

Occasionally, a couple will make it all the way into the living room.
I guess they figure if you're not gonna come in the kitchen,
they'll come to you!
   (The Bible's right about those ants, by jove!)

Second blog on ants...
OH MY GOODNESS...
I'm becoming obsessed!