I went shopping yesterday at Safeway.
As I got in line with my overly priced items...
I noticed this guy in front of me
with major issues to say the least.
He was dirty, had greasy hair,
filthy clothes and was super fidgety.
Absolutely could not stand still for the the life of him.
Obviously wasted on something.
So, I kept my distance
and really didn't want to look at him
any more than necessary.
Certainly didn't want to get too close.
But something inside of me
(probably the Holy Spirit)
made me look at him.
As I looked to see who was behind
all that mess...
He turned and looked directly in my eyes
and smiled uncertainly
and my heart smote me...
And in that swift moment of time
I could see someone's little boy
who has wandered too far.
And maybe they cry for him every night.
And pray that God will send someone to help him.
And here I stand in my smug certainty
not wanting to get too close.
And God broke my heart...
Cause I'm that person...
I'm the one with the answer.
That's the only reason I'm not standing where he is.
He walked off...
I paid for my stuff
with a lump in my throat
Not even able to talk to the cashier.
When I got outside I looked for him...
to give him a tract...to talk to him
who a moment ago I didn't even want to look at.
Nowhere in sight...my heart fell.
Lord, why did you show me him...
why did you allow all this to happen in my heart
if you weren't gonna give me a chance to tell him?
But then I realized He wanted to break my heart
and not give me an opportunity to make it right...
so that next time, I'd remember
the person who was someone's child.
I don't need to worry about this young man.
God is faithful...even when I'm not.
He will bring someone to him
to give him the answer.
Pastor Andres once said...
"God's boat sails whether
or not I get on. It's up to me
if I want to help sail."
Keep breaking my heart, Lord...
and let me help sail!