"Deathipedia"

You know, I just can't help myself...
When someone talks about an actor or actress
I have to tell them what they died of.

Not new actors,
cause I don't know any of them.
But from the 70's back.
I know how they all met their end.

My kids get upset with me
Me: "Yeah, she walked out on her husband,
became an alcoholic and died lonely and poor."
Random male child: "Thanks for that, Mom."

Kinda morbid, I know.
And I try not to...
But its there in my head...
then slips down to my mouth...
and I have to let it out.
They have a right to know what
happened to this person.
Even if they don't want to know!

And if we're watching a movie...
I can't wait til its over...
They HAVE to know right away.
Their life could depend on it!
Another random male child:
"The chase scene on 'Bullit' is my favorite."
Me: "You know Steve McQueen died of cancer
in Mexico after having tumors removed from his neck?"
Random male child: "That's gross, Mom!"
Me: "But, the good news is, he got saved before he died!"
Moral: Don't go to Mexico to have neck tumors removed.
And if you do, make sure you're saved first.
Now, tell me that's not helpful?!

And if I don't know how someone died...
My Mom most certainly does!
It's kinda been passed down,
this 'Deathipedia thing.'

And God forbid the person was a God hater.
Then not only do they have to know how they died,
They must also understand all the moral implications
of blaspheming the God of the Universe.
There are some names my kids will never utter
cause they know they will have to hear the story again.

I want to make sure they don't forget...
After all, it must be passed down.