Oct 18, 2011

What Could be Better?

People keep telling me
that being a Grandparent is so much better
than being a parent.

I can see that to a certain extent...
All the joy without having to worry about
really screwing up your kids.
After all, that's Mom and Dad's job.
(Not screwing up the kids...just worrying about it.)

All I ever wanted to be was a Mom.
I never cared about a career or lied to myself
about what great things I was going to accomplish
in the workaday world.
I have wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember.

When I was about 9
the doctors all told my Mom
that I would never be able to have children
so she might as well take care of it now...
(why do the words spay and neuter come to mind?)
But she never felt that it was her decision.
I felt terrible that I couldn't have kids...
cause I loved being a kid and didn't want to grow up.
So, if I had kids...I could always stay a kid.
(I was 9, OK? 9 year olds think dumb things like that!
and Peter Pan probably wasn't a great help either).

Then when I was 13 my Mom had my little sister.
I loved her so much that to think of never having
children was even more painful now...
after having experienced what it was like to have a
baby around. A 2 yr. old around. A 6 yr old around...

Then when I was 18 we found a new doctor
who scoffed at what the other doctors said.
"Only God decides who has children, not men!"
I had hope again.
6 years later, I had my first son...
seventeen months later, my second son...
5 years later, my third son.
(Yeah, I know, gets monotonous).
But I loved every stage they went through.
Their sweet smell, their soft skin, their first smile.
Every new development was monumental to us!
My kids never had terrible twos.
Not because they weren't terrible
(believe me, I can remember quite a few terrible things).
But every stage was fun times!
We hardly ever had babysitters
because we enjoyed being with our kids.
We played, we laughed, we had fun.

You know how when some people get old
and they live in the past and don't know
what's going on around them.
Well, I don't particularly want that to happen to me...
but if it does, I want to live in the happy times,
when the kids were little...
playing with Legos,
listening to stories about a little boy
named Tiger who lived in the woods,
hugs, kisses and runny noses,
and 'I love you forever, Mommy'.
when love was fierce and protective.

Not that times aren't happy now...
they're just not as simple as they were then.
And I guess I haven't really adjusted to
not having kids at home.
Although, I have to admit, quiet can be nice also.

How can anything be better than that?
I know all you grandparents are thinking...
"She'll see..."
And I'm sure I will.
But for now, I can't imagine what could be better...

(But check with me next month, just in case!)

2 comments:

  1. Yes, very sweet. It reminded me how thankful I need to be NOW. I love you.

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